AWOL

Hey everyone,

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging. I got a laptop for my birthday in November and I'd written a couple blog posts but for some reason the computer wouldn't post them. But I just tried posting something right now and it worked so I'm going to try again.

These past couple months have been difficult for me spiritually. I honestly feel like a faker and a lier posting right now. I'm been doubting and questioning my faith intensely and it just seems to be getting worse. I don't even know what to say. I've just drifted from God alot. I had a meeting with my pastor that I arranged about over a month ago to discuss how I'm feeling, and although I really enjoyed speaking to him and hearing what he had to say, I just don't feel an emotional connection to God at this point.

I'm struggling alot with if this is normal to feel like this. This isn't just some, I don't really believe in God right now. This is doubting and questioning so much that I have instilled in myself since I was 11. My morals and values are the same. I just don't know about my religion.

And I do still believe in God. I just don't know about my relationship with Him. This is honestly the most hard thing to explain. I'm sorry.

Happy Christmas Break

Jamie Hubley's Suicide

Hey everyone,

Today's post is going to be a little more serious and somber. A teenage boy named Jamie Hubley commited suicide about 2 weeks ago. He went to A.Y Jackson High School and was in Grade 10. This boy was smart, talented, funny and witty. He loved to figure skate and dance. So why did he kill himself? Because the cruelty, bullying and discrimination he faced from being openly GAY was too much to handle. This post is not about how being gay is "bad", "not right" or anything else under the sun. If that is your view on this and you're going to comment and say just that, you can leave and go read another blog because I will not tolerate that here.

I have a friend who recently commited suicide as well. He was a 16 year old Gr. 12 student and was one of the funniest people I've ever met. His suicide hit me hard and has affected me deeply and I'm struggling with it. Jamie's suicide makes me so upset as well, even though I didn't know him personally. I'm literally sitting here hyperventilating and my blood is boiling because I'm so angry. Not at Jamie for killing himself, but at the mean, disrespectful and cruel people who called him names, chipped away at his self-confidence and bullied him right into his grave. This is not okay. This is not alright and this is not something that should be taken as a grain of salt or pushed to the back of peoples' minds. A boy DIED because he felt like he could not survive in this world anymore from being treated so badly. How can we sit back and ignore this? Close our eyes? Turn our backs? Forget that this is happening?

We can't. We won't. I seriously cannot put into words the feelings I have right now. All I can say is that Jamie Hubley's death is 1 too many. No more people should have to feel like the only way out of their lives is death. No matter if they are gay or straight, black or white, everyone deserves the chance to feel safe, secure and happy in their schools and homes and lives. This bullying, name calling, prejudice and discrimination will not go away on its own. It's up to US, the people who are still left, to fight the fight that these kids could not. The next time you hear someone call someone gay, a faggot, a homo, tell them to choose another word. I don't care if you don't agree with people being gay. Even if you don't agree, it's not okay that people are called that and you are not being a Christian or good, moral person by walking by and saying nothing.

Look his name up on line: Jamie Hubley. Tell me that this has not made a wave that has disrupted our society. We are his age. If one more person can help and combat all of this bullying, some change has been made.

John 13:34
"A new command I give to you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

(The photo is of Jamie. It's not mine, I didn't take it. I got it from his Facebook page. I don't own the rights to it.)
Happy Wednesday guys.
Let's make a difference.

Little Things.

Hey guys,

I'm been a little MIA for a little while, sorry about that. But you guys know the drill so I'm going to get into it.

I found this website a while ago, and I really, really liked it. There's a lot of cool websites out there that have this kind of purpose: to make others not feel so alone, to help us appreciate the small things. Ex. Postsecret, MLIA, FML, 1000 Awesome Things.

I personally check 1000 Awesome Things whenever I'm on the computer because the guy who writes it is absolutely awesome, but it's so nice to be reminded that these little things we think of as normal (or completely absurd) are a constant in our lives, even if we realize it or not. God has put these things in our paths, our lives for some reason or another. One of my favourite quotes to this day is one I've come across by Dr. Jane Goodall. The quote says,

What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.

Pretty legit stuff right? So I guess I have two challenges for you guys today. 1, Appreciate the small things in your life. They have a purpose, a meaning, something they are supposed to teach you. 2, Examine your actions. Everything you do has an impact and makes a difference, good or bad. See whether or not being rude to your mom or not stopping that bully when he's harassing someone online is making the difference you want.

Here's the links to the websites I talked about up top! Check them out - they're really solid stuff. Aswell, the photo isn't mine, it's taken from the website justlittlethings.

Justlittlethings - http://justlittlethings.net
Postsecret - http://www.postsecret.com
MLIA - http://mylifeisaverage.com
FML - http://www.fmylife.com1000
Awesome Things - http://1000awesomethings.com/

(For some reason, blogger won't let me post these as weblinks, so just copy and paste or Google or whatever!)
Have a great day guys!
Happy Tuesday!