Commitmentaphobia.

Hey everyone!

Long time no talk. I got the inspiration for this blog mainly because of what is going on in my life at the moment. You know when something just pops into your head, and you're like, Uhm HOW did my brain just come up with this? Well yeah. That's kind of how this idea came to me.

Commitment. We all know what it is. We commit to things, like work, school, keeping promises and staying out of trouble. We commit to alot of different things without even knowing it. But, when commitment is shoved in our face, pure as daylight, alot of us are scared. I know I am. You have to stick with something that you're not sure you will. Marriage is a HUGE one. Lately I've been feeling like I have to make commitments, but I feel like I'm bad at them, and ultimately that I'm afraid of them. I think I have commitmentaphobia. I never used to think of myself as a person who was afraid to make commitments, but now more than ever, I'm finding that I am. I don't know about you guys, but making promises scares me sometimes, because I'm not always 100% sure I can keep them. How do you feel about this? I'm hoping it's not just me who feels this way.

I want to challenge you guys to think about a commitment that you've made. Why did you make that commitment? Why did you feel so strongly about it that you said, I'm going to stick with this? Whenever you're feeling afraid of latching onto something, think about that. How much you loved something, and how badly you wanted to do it so you made a commitment. I think one of the main reasons why I'm so afraid of commitment is because I'm made into this vulnerable person when I do. I let my guard down, and that scares me, especially in relationships. I don't like having something I can't run away from, when I can't extract myself from something and pretend like it's not happening.

So I guess this is a more honest blog post than most of my others. I hope that's okay with you guys. This one doesn't have as much of a message, more of a little update I guess. I hope it leaves you something to think about.

Happy Valentines Day everyone! :)
God loves you!